STORY A.K.A BEFORE:

I met my “dream girl” at Starbucks one sunny afternoon.

She was dressed casual but classy, had a fit body, and made eye contact when she sat down next to me that showed she was interested. I appreciated her assertiveness in doing so immediately. I could already tell she might have the type of personality I was looking for.

I mentioned how nice it was to see a woman who “took such good care of herself but also still enjoyed the ‘little things’ in life like a piece of cake and iced coffee on a warm day”. She blushed, thanked me, and smiled.

We made small talk and it turned out she was a mid thirties CEO of her own ecommerce company, had lived abroad in London, and travelled around the world quite a bit. These ticked some good boxes for me. She was interested in my men’s fashion business I was experimenting with at that time and she told me that she had considered doing something similar before. “We seemed to have a lot in common” so I suggested we change contact details and get together for drinks another day.

The first time we met for drinks was great. She liked the bar I chose, the convo was good, and the drinks were yummy. She mentioned a “bf’ she had in Australia but I could tell by how she talked about it she wasn’t that into the relationship. I told her “Not here… doesn’t count”. She didn’t argue with that.

After about two hours it was time to go and she offered to pay half the bill, which was a nice sign that she was a “team player”. Being a dummy at the time, I let her.

As we walked out, I knew I was potentially interested in something long term with her. I had the feeling that I should take it easy, kiss her goodnight on the cheek while seeing if she seemed open to a small kiss on the lips, and then put her in a taxi.

But then my routine habit – one that I had done dozens, maybe hundreds, of times successfully before – kicked in… and I came up with an obviously hokey reason to invite her to my place nearby.

I felt in my heart of hearts that this was probably a bad move and that she wasn’t likely the kind of woman to go for it…

I was right.

She looked at me disappointedly and got in her taxi without a hug or a kiss. “You’re so young” she said matter-of-factly and closed the door.

I was only a few years younger than her.

*STRIKE ONE*

That night and over the next few days, I lamented inviting her over – and hoped that the convo and connection we shared would override the “horny teenager” impression I had left in her mind.

Thankfully, it did.

We met for drinks again a couple weeks later after she returned from a vacation and, of course, she looked stunning and the convo was great. This time I paid the bill and we walked out arm-in-arm. As we walked down the stairs we started kissing. Obviously, this was where I wanted things to go.

I offered to walk her home to her place nearby and we did so arm-in-arm. When we got there, I had the feeling that I should kiss her goodnight, watch her walk into her building, and go home happy that I was able to see her again and keep building the connection, possibly in a more intimate environment next time.

Then, my usual programming kicked and I thought, “Well… we’ve been kissing and I’m outside her place… I’ll do what’s worked before!” and told her “I wanted to come up to use the bathroom”. Old habits die HARD!

She looked disappointed again… probably because it seemed AGAIN that I only cared about getting laid rather than about the nice connection we had built up and shared all night. She told me to “get a taxi” and pushed me towards one. I insisted but so did she.

She went upstairs without a kiss or hug goodnight, again…

*STRIKE TWO*

The last time we met she joined some friends and I for a casual dinner and drinks. She fit in perfectly though she obviously also frequented much classier establishments. Some of my friends were obviously trying to flirt with her but she politely rebuffed them. We changed locations and after a few drinks we went outside.

I went to kiss her…. She told me, “I don’t want this… I don’t want to cheat on my bf”.

This hadn’t stopped her from kissing me before and I could tell the objection wasn’t because of him but because I was set on trying to get laid rather than creating a nice connection with her and letting it happen naturally.

*STRIKE THREE*

We never met again.

*I WAS OUT!*

AFTER:

 By focusing on how I could get laid rather than how I could build a connection and relationship with her, I showed her that I wasn’t mature enough to enjoy those with her… so she left.

I lost my “dream woman” because I did the things that had gotten me laid with other women before… women who I wasn’t interested in a LTR with. These “successes” created habits that just ended up costing me when it came to interacting with one that I was.

II learned that I needed to focus on creating relationships with the best women who were LTR potential. I also learned that I need to be able to keep her.

So, I started dating higher quality women. I started focusing more on women who were worth my time in the long term. Ones with higher ROI than just getting laid. 

Slowly, I learned to mature and persist and take my time creating relationships with quality women. 

Now, I date MUCH better quality women than I used to .

I’m still searching for my dream woman but I also understand that I haven’t yet become my ideal version of myself. So how can I expect her to be? 

BRIDGE:

  Headline: most men don’t date the women they really want.

Most men  never find their dream woman or at least their dream woman who also consider them her dream man. 

Most men end up settling..

 And that’s fair. It’s easier to settle and not put in the work than it is to bust your ass be someone who is amazing so an amazing partner would want to be with you.

Settling is easy. And that’s why so many men do it. We deserve what we settle for.

The truth is alot of men end up in some pretty unhappy relationships, often with kids, and divorced with alimony because of it.

What if we settled in our careers, in our fitness, etc?

Then they wonder why divorce rates are at 50%!

1st

HEADLINE:

When You Work So Hard To Get Sex Then Don’t Even Want To See Her

Wassup my quality comrades?

I was out having drink last weekend for St. Patties day and I saw a few things: (take pics)

1. LOTS of dudes were with women that they wanted to get some from but that they didn’t seem to likely want more than that

2. My friend even wanted to TURN DOWN a woman from coming over because he just wasn’t feeling it

3. My other friend recently cut if off with a woman who: i) let him have anal sex with her when she was on her period and 2) would wake him up with oral sex!  Those two things sound really nice!

What’s the point?

It’s this: if you’re putting all your time and effort into getting laid ASAP with whatever girl will respond to what you do to get laid ASAP then expect to feel like these dudes and still be left looking for “better” women.

Why?

The women who will sleep with you right away, come over right for sex when you’re not really dating, and don’t make you work for it/have standards are NOT usually the ones who you would consider have LTR potential and are “gf material”.

Why is that important?

You wanna be 5+ years from now and STILL be with women you don’t really want to see anymore or do you want to be dating women you’re EXCITED about seeing and who might be your dream woman?

I’m sure by then you’ll be REALLY tired of wasting your time.

A bunch of men over thirty have told me that they want to find their future wife, settle down, and have kids sooner-rather-than-later. Well, guess what? Those guys I talked about above WON’T LIKELY be finding their dream women soon…. I can tell you because they aren’t mature enough to attract her. How do I know that?

THIS *LINK* interview with a quality woman I just did. She told me about how she wants a man who is “mature, responsibile, and influences her (gives her emotions) in positive ways”.

You can check it out here.

I realized I needed to get my life together. Even if I had “gotten” here she might have left because I didn’t have that much going on. She was a CEO and I was a teacher… what am I going to teach her? 

I’ve seen lots of guys fail with or settle with less-than-their dream woman. I’m tired of that for you.

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